


Needs and Wants

by TailorNorata



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Peter Hale, Angst, Attempt at domestic fluff, Feelings, Hurt, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kissing, Lashing Out, M/M, POV Peter Hale, Pining, Scents & Smells, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Verbal Fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 05:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13206873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TailorNorata/pseuds/TailorNorata
Summary: Peter has moved on. At least he tells himself that.Only when he is confronted with the past he tried to leave behind, keeping up that lie becomes clearly impossible.





	Needs and Wants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShebaRen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShebaRen/gifts).



> Merry Belated Christmas to shebaren from your Backup Secret Santa :3  
> I am sorry you had to wait this long but I hope you enjoy this fic all the same!

Peter hadn’t really been in contact with his nephew or anybody else in Beacon Hills.

He technically still lived there but spent a lot of time working wherever someone needed his particular set of skills, the skills of an Alpha’s left hand, the skills of a Fixer.

The pack didn’t need him and he didn’t need the pack.

Even less now since he wasn’t in danger to become an omega anymore.

Not since he helped a tyrannized pack in Canada to get rid of their alpha.

Reluctantly they had offered Peter to become their new leader since he had inherited the alpha status, but he had declined and instead helped them to find other packs in the area.

He wanted to stay in Beacon Hills, it was his home, even though no one cared for him.

And even if he had decided to relocate, winter in Canada was fucking freezing, he didn’t need that.

 

~*~

 

When he came home after a long week in Memphis tidying up other people's mess and an exhausting flight back from there, sitting next to a little girl eating candy as loud as he ever heard anybody eat anything before, he realized something was different.

The lights in his apartment were on.

He was so done, he had zero patience left to deal with some kind of intruder in his home. This guy was going to either leave immediately or die, there was no in between.

Frustrated he took the stairs, carrying his suitcase with ease and reached the fourth floor in a matter of seconds.

Inexplicably the door to his place was still locked and he could hear music coming from inside.

He had no idea what that was about but also didn’t feel like breaking into his own apartment so he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door.

 

He had expected a lot of things. Skilled burglars, witches, maybe the police, but not this.

A wave of his home’s scent mingled with Stiles’ hit him utterly unprepared.

His wolf, the traitor, reacted with total glee and happiness while the rest of him had alarm sirens ringing loudly. This wasn’t good, this couldn’t be good.

The scent was so settled in his flat he was certain Stiles had to have spent at least three or four days in his apartment already.

Whatever the reason, he needed to get the guy out of here and then he needed to get a hotel room and order somebody to clean his place until there were no traces left.

He had been over this, he had banished all thoughts of mole dotted necks, busy hands, eyes too curious for the entire world to satisfy them and disastrously tantalizing lips twisted into a devious smirk from his mind, from his soul.

Although he sometimes still dreamt of them.

 

~*~

 

Before he could do anything else Stiles peeked out of the kitchen with a goofy smile.

“Finally, you are home!”

He sounded like this was something that happened all the time and it confused Peter immensely.

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him before walking further into his living room.

Concentrate on finding out what is going on, don’t let anything fool you, something isn’t right, this is probably a trap, or an illusion, or a delusion...a vivid dream you are having while still on the plane…

“What are you doing here?”

Stiles went back into the kitchen where he was apparently making a sandwich and gave an answer.

“I kind of had a huge fight with Scott and told him I’d leave if he decided to ignore my warnings.

He did, which resulted in Lydia and Isaac ending up almost dead and comatose for several days so I made good on my threat and pissed off.”

Peter raised his brows.

“To my place?”

“Yeah well Beacon Hills is my home, I don’t really want to leave it, I just need Scott to learn his lesson. Also there are a few spells I am working on right now and changing my location too much could mess with them. Not to mention I need to keep an eye on my dad so he doesn’t start eating too much unhealthy stuff again. Speaking of, do you want a sandwich? Don’t worry I bought the food and didn’t touch the little stuff you had.”

Peter crossed his arms and kept his sceptic stare up.

“Doesn’t really answer why you came to my place. Or how you got into my place for that matter. The lock is warded against magic and I have the only two keys.”

The younger man smiled unashamed, took his sandwich and walked straight past Peter into the living room, flopping down on his couch.

“I made a copy like four years ago. Remember? That one time we needed that thieves candle you have and you sent me to get it?”

He had to admit he had underestimated Stiles’ level of opportunism.

“I clearly shouldn’t have trusted you. But that still doesn’t answer the question why.”

Stiles chewed on his food and shrugged while putting his bare feet up on Peter’s coffee table.

This whole imagery was way too domestic, it was giving him all kinds of bad ideas. His hand twitched when he thought about putting away that plate and pinning Stiles into the cushions.

“Stiles…”

The cheeky grin on that stupidly beautiful face dimmed a bit and got more cautious.

Stiles swallowed and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

“I know Scott will be looking for me, desperately trying to talk me into forgiving him without him actually apologizing for never listening to the very smart and very right things I usually say. You have been off their radar for quite a while now. I think it might have been two years, maybe even more since anybody even considered you might be behind any of the shit we deal with. Most of them probably don’t even know you still live here. Derek is probably the only one who still has this address. If he does. Maybe Lydia does as well but she is angry at Scott too. In conclusion, your place is perfect for me to hide.”

Well it did make sense.

“I see how you would come to that conclusion.”

There it was again, the cheeky smile.

Sweet, harmless and disarming, Peter would never fall for it and Stiles knew that so he was mainly wearing it to annoy Peter, still a brat after all that time.

“So you agree with me, awesome.”

This was just too much for him tonight.

“Cut the crap Stiles, you really think I’m just gonna let you stay here, at my place? You just proved to me I should not trust you, and even if I did, I don’t owe you any favors and we aren’t friends. Your little game of hide and seek with that golden hearted puppy alpha has no relevance to me.”

He needed to get Stiles out, he needed sleep and time alone and a place where he didn’t have to deal with the fact he was about to relapse into a heartbreaking fixation on a guy who only sought him out because it was literally the last place anybody expected him at.

 

Stiles’ facial expression changed from goofy and carefree to cunning and devious.

Shit last time Peter had seen this it hadn’t been half that attractive.

Now, losing the harmless demeanor, it got so undeniably obvious how much Stiles had changed.

He had sharper edges, his frame wasn’t just long and lean anymore, his shoulders were broad and defined, his eyes looked like they could cut your soul if they intended to and there was a waft of ozone and something like an electrical charge in the air.

Peter’s heart was beating hard against his chest and it was difficult not to instinctually drop his fangs and claws to get ready to defend himself.

It was even more difficult not to trail off into extremely dirty fantasies.

Yes, Peter was a slut for power and he wouldn’t let anybody kink shame him.

A small flick of Stiles’ fingers turned off the music which had been playing.

“Oh Peter…”

Stiles voice had dropped lower and sounded through Peter’s bones.

“I said you have been off their radar, not mine. I could make your life here very difficult. I know a lot of things about you, things dear Scott wouldn’t like, starting with the fact you are an alpha again. Is having me sleeping on your couch for a few days really bad enough to risk that golden hearted puppy alpha and his pack starting to pay you their attention again?”

 

Peter tried to figure out what to do.

He wouldn’t put it past Stiles to go through with that threat - if only because Stiles probably knew empty threats were worth nothing.

So whatever he did he was screwed. He really wished there was some kind of job he had to work, some kind of pack he had to head off to, but there wasn’t, he’d have days to come with this dangerously attractive and attractively dangerous spark.

As an answer, while hiding his internal agony, he shrugged, keeping an unimpressed face, took his suitcase and headed for his bedroom while the music started playing again.

“Just don’t get too annoying” he said over the tune and closed the door behind him.

 

~*~

 

Peter was glad when he realized Stiles hadn’t entered this room.

Of course since the whole flat was filled with it some of the younger man’s scent lingered in the air, but it was mainly untouched and he felt himself relax somewhat while his wolf whined and told him to go back to that delicious mate material out there.

Sometimes instincts were just stupid.

He trusted his senses with a lot of things but not with matters of the heart. Not that he had to deal with matters like that all that often. Stiles was the only person since the fire Peter’s wolf had taken such a liking towards.

and Peter understood that. But he also understood why Stiles would likely never feel the same way.

Right now his mind and sense were in chaos, he was deeply aroused and deeply frustrated, but most of all, he was exhausted to the core and that was what won over after a few moments of standing in his room.

He toed off his shoes, took off most of his clothes and let himself fall onto his bed with a groan.

He had been doing so well.

This was going to screw with the life he had built for himself so badly.

 

~*~

 

The next morning when Peter woke up it was to the most beautiful combination of scents.

Coffee, roasting bacon, eggs and freshly baked bread, wrapped up in the combined scent of him and Stiles. His heart, an organ immune to almost any influences, hurt worse than it had in years.

He couldn’t leave this room, he couldn’t deal with Stiles trying to...whatever he was trying to do.

Instead he stayed in bed and tried to calm himself, tried to rationalize what he was dealing with.

He couldn’t even really be mad at Stiles.

It wasn’t like the guy knew Peter had feelings for him.

They had always gotten along back when he had still frequented pack meetings and had helped with whatever troubles they got in.

They actually had been able to have a lot of fun, bantering, teasing, working hand in hand, occasionally fighting back to back.

There was no reason for Stiles to expect Peter to really be against him being there. Peter couldn’t even be pissed they hadn’t spoken in so long, because it had been him breaking off the contact and obviously Stiles had continued his interest but given Peter the distance and space he had wanted.

Stiles wasn’t aware the reason Peter had chosen to distance himself was the stupid amount of energy it took him to be this close to and yet that distant from someone he wanted so badly.

He had known he needed more or less of Stiles, the amount back then hadn’t been good for him.

The amount he was getting right now felt toxic. It was almost everything he wanted, bar the fact it wasn’t the one thing Peter really wanted - for Stiles to love him back.

 

~*~

 

There was a knock on his door.

He didn’t answer and could hear Stiles’ footsteps walking back into the kitchen after a few moments.

Peter’s stomach grumbled and he knew he couldn’t stay in the bedroom forever.

But he also wouldn’t come out immediately after Stiles had knocked.

He wasn’t going to give off the impression he came when called upon that would only set expectations he didn’t intend to meet.  
  


 

When he eventually emerged from his hole Stiles was curled up on the couch, reading a book. Peter pretermitted him and just walked towards his bathroom to take a shower.

After that he went into the kitchen and ignored the “I baked fresh bread, you can eat from that as well” chimed from his couch in favor of brewing his own coffee.

With a mug, a plate of sandwiches - purposefully not made with Stiles’ bread but simple toast, although the bread smelled delicious - and a bottle of water he retracted into his bedroom and audibly locked it behind him. He needed to make clear he didn’t want Stiles to be nice to him, he couldn’t bear this domesticity without going crazy.

 

~*~

 

Since Peter had gone to bed early he woke up at a time when he could still hear Stiles gently snoring in the living room. He sighed deeply, resigned to his situation and stood up to shower, brush his teeth and then go running to clear his head for a while.

 

The fresh air was good. Is helped him think, helped him settle his turmoil a bit.

It took longer than usual for him to feel blissed out by the exercise but he got there and it was good. Lying on the forest ground, far enough from Hale territory not to raise any red flags, he breathed heavily and stared up in the sky. He could always just move elsewhere. What really was keeping him here? Yes it was his home at some point, but Derek’s or rather Scott’s pack was holding it now and he had no intention to change that. Not when it meant inciting a war.

He wasn’t suited for pack life the way he used to be.

He had been a good left hand, he hadn’t been a good alpha the first time around and he didn’t want to repeat that time of his life.

That all being said, Beacon Hills had a certain energy about it.

The Nematon or whatever in the end created the Beacon not only pulled other creatures into this area but it kept them here. It kept him here. 

Clouds moved over his head, beyond the trees and his thoughts seemed to move with them.

He missed having someone, sometimes. He missed having a family. He kept an eye on Malia in case she needed him, although she was very capable on her own.

He missed having a partner. Not just flings now and then, meaningless hookups, but someone to actually share his life with.

He knew the way his wolf was drawn to Stiles meant they could be the most beautiful of mates. In another life, in another time.

But as it was now his stupid fixation just prevented him from finding somebody else.

And he had thought breaking up the contact would be enough to move on. And maybe with a few more years it would have been. But it had taken not even a day for him to be back where he started, maybe even worse.

The way Stiles had asked if having him around was really that bad had made clear he would have immediately left if Peter had answered confirmative, if he had said having Stiles around was insufferable.

But hurting Stiles, telling him he didn’t want him there, telling him he despised having him around, that’d be almost harder than to have him stay.

It might also be his only way out of this situation though.

It was certainly the way with the least damage to his current lifestyle.

And maybe Stiles would be a bit hurt, but a few days and he’d probably not care one bit about some sad, lonely, grumpy old guys opinion of him.

 

He stood up and brushed off the dirt from the ground before heading back home, slower and less determined to end up totally exhausted than he had come.

It might not be a great plan, or even just a good plan, but at least it was a plan.

 

~*~

 

Back at his place Stiles was up and eating breakfast.

Peter cam in, and mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do.

Stiles looked at him with a genuine smile.

“Glad to see you got out of your cave for more than a shower and some food, I was getting worried.”

Peter wouldn’t let that get to him, he couldn’t let that get to him.

“What do you care. In fact, just don’t care! You know what? I don’t have to take your bullshit attempts to win me over. You want to stay here to work your ploy with your little friend then by all means do that. Obviously I don’t feel like being painted as the big evil villain again after building a nice quiet life for myself. But don’t for a minute think I am okay with this or even somehow enjoying it. I can’t stand you, you are an annoying little shit who likes to throw around his powers and I don’t need any of it! So don’t cook or bake for me, don’t talk to me, don’t fucking bother me while you are here. Or better even just fuck off and hide with someone who gives a shit!”

 

His hands were clenched into fists to keep them from trembling, but his entire frame felt like it was vibrating with tension and about to falter if Stiles found any sign of weakness.

He stared at Stiles who was sitting there, pale and staring back.

Then Peter saw tears welling up and Stiles’ lower lip trembling and he felt like the asshole he was, like the worst kind of person, someone willing to say horrible things to someone he loved even if he didn’t mean any of them just to stop himself from hurting.

 

There weren’t words, no noises at all, no whine, no whimper, just silent tears running down Stiles’ face.

Peter tried to stay strong, tried to keep up his expression of stone and steel, but he felt like a fragile glass figurine, ready to break at the lightest touch.

Eventually Stiles looked away, at his half eaten food before speaking.

“What happened? We got along so well back when you were with the pack. Did you always just pretend you had fun?”

Damn it, couldn’t Stiles just accept what Peter had said and not think about it this detailed?

“Yes” he said but he knew it didn’t sound as convincing as it should.

It still seemed to hit Stiles, harder even than Peter had expected.

“Why-”

Stiles voice broke at the word and Peter felt ashamed.

It was one word, one syllable but it contained so much hurt, so much disbelief at how cruel Peter was.

Why, yeah...why would Peter have pretended? Why would Peter have chosen to fuck with Stiles like that? Of all people, why the one person that had actually liked and accepted him? Why the one person he shared the most interests and opinions with.

The answer was there, it would be one sentence, easily believable and so so cruel.

‘Because I have nothing but contempt for you, I look at you and see a failed version of myself’.

But it wasn’t true and he knew if he tried to say that he would break both of them.

 

Realizing he couldn’t do it blew all the tension out of him and he fell to his knees.

This was fucked up, he was fucked up and Stiles wasn’t responsible for this.

“Peter?”

Even now, even after all the dreadful things Peter had just said there was still concern in Stiles’ voice and Peter hated that because it made him hate himself even more.

“I just can’t do this Stiles…”

His own voice was weak and exhausted.

“I don’t find you annoying, I didn’t pretend to like you. I am just an asshole.”

Stiles hat knelt down in front of him and looked at him with clear confusion.

“But...what would you do this for? Why try to convince me you despise me? What was this supposed to do? I don’t understand why you would say these things?”

God damn it, couldn’t Stiles just leave him alone, just go back and be happy with his pack and not force Peter more and more into a corner.

“Because...having you here...it’s not good for me, it hurts and-”

He looked down into his lap and tried to figure out a way to not admit his feelings. His mind was racing but it came up empty time and time again.

“I don’t understand you Peter! You lie about not liking me, then admit you like me after all, but you still want me gone, what the fuck is your fucking problem?!”

Stiles tried to force Peter to look at him but Peter resisted.

“Look at me Peter! I’ll go, I promise and I won’t tell Scott anything but please just explain this to me!”

Fuck it. Fuck this! Fuck him! Fuck Stiles!

Peter snapped his head up and had his hands firmly wrapped around Stiles’ wrists.

“You really want to know? Fine. I left the pack because of you. I left because I’ve been in love with you for over five years. And now I’ve spent almost all of those five years trying to get over that. Because I don’t expect you to love or even like me back, but I am not a masochist, I don’t need to stay this close to something I will never have. So understand! When you barge in here, your scent mingling with mine like this is our home, making me food like I am your mate, greeting me, saying you care about me like I matter to you, I am in pain. I am suffering every moment you are in my home, in my ‘den’ because everything you do tells my inner wolf to consider you my mate and everything in our past tells my common sense that will never happen. Do you understand now? Do you understand why I can’t have you here?! Do you get that?!!!”

He let go of Stiles’ wrists apruptly and stood up, turning his back and pacing a few steps back and forth because he felt like he needed to get out of this room. Away from Stiles, still kneeling and staring at him with those eyes wide open in what was probably shock.

He went for the kitchen and walked up to the fridge, only to turn around again towards the door and look away afterwards, out the window.

Still antsy he wrapped his arms around himself, leaned against the counter and stared off into the distance, waiting for the noises of Stiles collecting his things and leaving.

 

~*~

 

Only that didn’t happen.

What he heard was Stiles standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

Peter turned his head to look into the opposite direction of the door but it didn’t help much.

He could still smell Stiles, hear his breathing and his heartbeat, feel his presence.

“Peter…”

Stiles voice was so soft, so gentle it was painful to his ears.

“Peter...please look at me.”

He didn’t look but could hear how Stiles came closer until he stood in front of him, cool fingers carefully framing his face and adamantly but patiently forcing him to look at those magnificent eyes.

“Peter. Listen to my heart. You were always able to tell if I lied, weren’t you? I might fool anybody else, I can’t fool you. So listen."

Peter wasn't sure where this was supposed to go but did listen.

"I like you. A lot. And maybe I was too young back then to understand my feelings, maybe they changed with distance. But I didn’t keep an eye on you because I considered you a threat. I kept an eye on you because I wanted...I needed to know you were doing okay and where you were if I ever couldn’t stay away anymore. I tried to give you space and time for yourself, but I missed you.”

Peter wasn’t able to find a lie and it confused him so much.

“Why...why threaten me?”

The reluctant, apologetic smile Stiles gave him was softer than anything he had seen in a long time.

“I didn’t think you were interested in me very much. I just wanted to be near you for a while, satisfy my need for you and then leave you alone again, none the wiser. I guess we are both selfish assholes…”

God, they were ridiculous.

Involuntarily he had to return the smile, just as reluctantly while he uncrossed his arms and let them hang loosely, not sure what to do with them.

“I guess we are.”

 

They stood there like that for a few moments which felt like eternity until Stiles cracked a wide smile.

“Isn’t this supposed to be the moment where you grab me, kiss me hard and then bang me harder?”

Peter hummed intrigued and raised one brow.

“Would you enjoy that?”

Stiles' smile got sweeter and he blushed “I might have fantasized about it once or twice.”

With a chuckle Peter pushed himself away from the counter, up against Stiles’ body and wrapped one hand around his nape, placing the other at the small of his back.

“I hope I can live up to that fantasy.”

Before Stiles could answer Peter was kissing him and pulling him close.

Stiles moaned into the kiss and could do little more than hold onto Peter with his own hands.

Peter chuckled into the kiss as he felt Stiles getting weak in the knees and lifted him onto the counter and then let his hands play with the hem of Stiles’ shirt while his lips and tongue followed the tendons in Stiles’ neck down to his collarbones.

Stiles helped fully getting rid of the shirt and melted into Peter’s touch, demanding more.

Peter growled pleased at the request and let go of Stiles’ neck for a moment to grin like the wolf he was.

“Let’s do this properly. I believe you haven’t seen my bedroom so far.”

Stiles grinned.

“I haven’t.”

Peter took hold of Stiles’ thighs and lifted him off the counter with ease, carrying him towards his bedroom.

“We ought to change that immediately.”

With a giggle Stiles held onto Peter’s shoulders and just kissed the man as an answer.

  
  
~*~

 

Stiles had stayed.

First for a few more days, then a few days a week and eventually indefinitely.

Scott had not really learned his lesson and instead been a crybaby about the developments but most of the pack had been surprisingly all right with them.

Erica even told Peter she was glad he was going to be part of their little family again.

Peter had made clear he was still going to be his own person when it came to pack, but they didn’t seem to mind.

Even Derek accepted his return with little comment.

 

As for him and Stiles as a couple, they had stuff to figure out, they had their ups and downs, but all in all they were happy. 

Every relationship required continuous effort to stay good, but they were willing to do that and as long as they were honest and open with each other Peter felt confident they could make it work.

They were done hiding things from each other, it hadn’t served them well.

Even the most cunning people needed someone with whom they could be their true self.


End file.
